Helsinki, 13.

Unknown

…you can imagine my surprise when I did wake up. Again, there was a splitting pain in my head, only amplified by the amount of sunlight.

I was outside. I couldn’t move. And I wasn’t alone. I could tell all this without opening my burning eyes.

There was fresh air, cool fresh air. Not that of the cities, or a hot summer’s day. No, a cool morning breeze, easing the burning in my eyes and the tingling on my skin, but not by much. I could hear as the wind caressed new leaves somewhere nearby, and the quiet howl as it passed through cracks in a wooden wall. I knew that sound all too well from my childhood.

“I think she’s up.”

My hands were bound tightly above my head, and I couldn’t move my legs either. They had tied me on my back, on something that creaked and dug painfully into me and smelled of burned wood. Not very comfortable.

“Good.”

And I certainly wasn’t alone. I could feel people around me. Humans. The bright sun was somewhere above us, painting the eyelids over my eyes a painful red, so vampires would be asleep by now. Asleep, or hiding. Exactly where I should be.

I let out a groan as someone poked my cheek with a cool finger. “Alby, I swear… I am ripping out your colon and strangling you with it.”

A howl of laughter. “I told you already, this is purely business. No need to take that attitude with me.”

“Attitude?!” I forced my eyes open, ignoring the damn near intolerable pain as the splitting headache moved gears from two to five without passing through three and four. The sun, not even in sight, made my eyes water. I hated it, hated that it made me look like I was crying. Apparently my anger wasn’t enough to vaporize the tears.

My muscles had tightened with the wave of anger, making my arms and legs pull at their bonds. Metal. They had bound me with metal. Smart move. I think I would have been able to break anything less with pure rage.

The smell of burnt wood was strong all around me. A quick, painful look around showed me that I was in a house without a roof above me. The walls were blackened by fire; without a doubt it had also consumed the ceiling, and whatever it was I had been tied to.

A pale blur came to stand between me and the bright blue sky above, and I squinted to see Alby better. I growled, tried to both bite and pull away as his hand came up and landed on my forehead. It was cool, and I had to fight the urge to press against it and the sobering effect it had.

“I really hate to see you like this. That’s why I won’t be coming back once my shift is over.”

“Shift?”

“We’re not dumb, S. Don’t think that we’ll let you out of our sights until you’re burned to ashes. The vampires do demand proof of your demise, of course. They won’t part with their money or their gifts that easily.”

“You’re an ass if you’re trusting a vampire…” I hissed and closed my eyes when the brightness became unbearable. Alby sighed and took his hand away.

“I am willing to trust them as long as they trust me. We’re friends.”

“Funny, that’s what I thought we were.” I growled at him.

“Of course.”

“Then why won’t you be a friend and put me out of my misery instead of letting me lie out in the sun? I think that’s something a real friend would do. Oh, pardon me. A real friend wouldn’t try to kill a friend in the first place!” I couldn’t get up to punch him, so shouting was all I could do. It gave me little pleasure, but one has to take what one can get.

Alby had no answer for me. He just stood by my side, a towering shadow of uncharacteristic uncertainty. He had always been so very sure of himself, so cocky and ready with words. Not so this time.

“You pussy. You’ve got the guts to take on the task of killing a friend for cash, but not the balls to see it through. Some man you are.” I practically spat the words at him, but he just stood there. “What else did they give you? Did they promise to turn you? What are they planning, why the hell are they so worried about me meddling with whatever the fuck they are doing?”

That got Alby back on track. “I’ve seen enough movies not to go babbling about the plans of the bad guys to the hero of the movie. No matter that soon you’re going to be dead.” He crouched beside me and let out a long sigh. “You’re right, though. I am a coward. They didn’t specify how you should die, or how soon, as long as you are no more. I don’t want your blood on my hands, so it’s easiest to let nature take its course.”

“My blood already is on your hands, Alby. You just can’t see it.” I closed my eyes and turned away from him. I had no more words for him. No more respect, either. All those years of friendship, even though we weren’t all that close, he had decided to throw them away, and not even have a spine to do it properly. He might as well be dead to me.

I could feel him move towards me and hesitate. After a moment he stood up, and hesitated again.

“I’m sorry, S. But if I wouldn’t have done it, they would have gotten someone else to do it. And someone else wouldn’t have cared. They’d just killed you in a stinking alley one night, and been done with it. I wanted your death to mean more, to be remembered.”

He stopped, probably expecting a thank-you or at least any kind of an acknowledgement of his intentions. I gave him none. He sighed again and turned to leave. “This is goodbye. I hope you’ll be in peace once you’ve gone.” His steps were heavy as he walked away, stopping only once to say a few words which made my blood freeze.

“Kielo will be here later.”

That day was perhaps the longest I’ve ever lived. The sun soon rose above the meagre shelter of the burnt-down walls around me and hit me full-force. All I could do to protect myself was to turn my face away from it when I could, to keep my eyes from burning. The rest of me wasn’t so lucky. The clothes I had on –the ones Kielo had bought me- were the only thing protecting most of my skin. The pants were made of a strong, thick fabric, so my legs weren’t doing too badly, but the shirt was far thinner and of course had no sleeves. I couldn’t see my arms, but could imagine the skin turning more red and red in the sun, blistering and blackening. And it was the more delicate skin of the inside of my arms that was bared to the nature, therefore quicker to burn. Same with my face. The smell was not a pleasant one.

Since I wasn’t a full vampire, I didn’t catch fire as soon as the rays of the sun hit me. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but in the past I could happily wander around during the days. It was no problem at all, even if my eyes always were a bit too sensitive to the amount of light. But a combination of living so long and the problems with the ozone layer, more precisely it not being up there properly to protect from the sun anymore, the vampire in me would burn. Slowly and painfully.

If there was a god, any god, watching, they would grant me death before Kielo got here.

Did I ever go into her apartment? Had I ever even checked whether she was telling me the truth about anything? Her jobs, her roommate? No, I hadn’t. I had trusted her like a blind, lovesick fool. And now I was paying for it. Just because of a pair of pretty, dark eyes I had cast away all of my hard-learned caution, plunged recklessly into unknown waters. Worn my heart on my sleeve, and whatever other clichés you have.

I had believed that the feelings she had spoken of truly existed, and not just in my heart.

Really, I had brought this on myself with my foolishness. She had trouble written all over her when we first met, but I hadn’t listened to common sense.

Oh, but it’s so easy to be smart in hindsight. And oh, but kicking my own ass was easier than dealing with the pain of betrayal. I had no words for the ache in my heart, because of both Kielo, who had turned my life around so fast, in such a short time, and because of Alby, who had been a friend and confidant for years. How does one cope with that?

How does one cope with burning alive, over hours of agonizing, slow heat?

I’ll tell you.

By screaming one’s throat so sore that blood starts to come out, and by eventually passing out during the endless hours of the afternoon. I suppose I should have been thankful of the clouds the wind brought with it, but when I came to in the early evening, I was mostly disappointed. The sun had passed from above me, and I was again given protection by the ruins of the house around me. During the night I would heal some, so the sun could wreak havoc on me all over again come next morning.

As Alby had promised, I wasn’t alone. There was a human somewhere in the vicinity, and he laughed out loud as I swore in pain and cursed my so-called friends. My lips, burnt and hard and dry and aching, cracked and bled with the words, but the physical pain was so much easier to bare now than the feelings inside.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, indeed. Although I could have lived without realizing the truth in that personally.

Most of all, of course, I was angry at myself. I’d told Alby all the things they had now used against me because I had thought him a friend. I had thought that now that vampires were such a visible part of the world and no longer needed the likes of me to keep them in check, I really could retire and enjoy myself. Have a little fun. Learn to trust people.

Maybe I should have learnt to trust the right people, not just anyone who’d buy the new face a drink and know more about vampires than was good for a normal human. But he had been charming, and funny, and it had been so easy and liberating to really talk about the creatures of the night with someone who understood and knew them as well. To let someone know the real me.

Well. At least Alby knew enough of me to keep my memory alive… as he lay in bed with the woman I had so loved.

The bastard.

Blood from my lips slipped into my mouth as I switched into cursing in Russian. It was hot and too salty, but it refreshed my throat and gave me strength to swear some more. Maybe to survive another day. To cry a few tears which burned new painful paths into the scarred skin of my face.

Fuck you, Alby, for not having the balls to finish this like a man.

And fuck you, Kielo, for breaking my heart.

For a while I wondered which I dreaded more; the coming morning, still hours away, or Kielo coming to see me. It was a short while, though, for the latter was clearly worse. For despite fancy literary quotes, I still loved her, and fuck me for it, but I couldn’t be sure that I wouldn’t beg her to tell me why she had done all this. Beg her to release me, from my bonds or from this life. Beg her to love me.

I had never liked to show weakness either to my prey or my clients, because someone like me couldn’t afford it. But there was nothing to do, no way to hide myself from the vampire guarding me as the tears started to come out full force. Really, I was surprised I still had them in me after laying in the sun all day.

The night came on eventually, as it always does. Both my tears and anger had died down to embers that burned inside my chest by the time the human was joined by a weak vampire. I couldn’t see or hear them, but the human soon left. Change of shift, no doubt. The vampire came close to check on me, asking whether I was awake. I just swore at him a little and he left me alone, to stare at the stars above. We must have been some way from the city; there was no other light in sight than the stars, and the crescent moon I could barely see from the corner of my eye. No streetlights, no cars, no people. Just me and the sky above. Just like it had been for most of my life. I even felt safe for a while within the familiarity of it all. And despite the pain in my tied wrists and ankles, the aches in my stretched and burnt limbs, I could imagine my mother there with me, laying beside me, humming a lullaby. My father on the other side, pointing up at the stars, telling me their names and stories. Natasha somewhere in the background, chanting spells and songs to learn them.

“See, my little flower…” my father said, pointing at the constellation straight above us, “that there is the Hunter. He’s always after the wildlife, and the likes of us. But he is stupid, and doesn’t know how to catch us. For we, my little Stasya, we are too fast and smart to fall for his traps.”

Well. It was about time I lost it.

My mother laughed and reached out to run a cooling hand over my brow. “My silly little child. I told you time and again, we are like the stars. Even if you can’t see us all of the time, it doesn’t mean we’re not there for you.”

I still couldn’t see her, but I felt it as she propped herself up on one elbow and leaned over me to kiss my cheek. “You’re a strong woman. You won’t break this easily. Not after so long.”

I sobbed but couldn’t help but smile at her following words: “I raised you better than that.”

“You don’t want me to just give up and die, do you?”

“Of course not!” My father said, aghast.

“I named you resurrection, not surrender.” My mother said, teasing but stern.

“But…” I argued, ignoring the snorting sounds the vampire was making somewhere nearby. He must have thought I’d gone insane.

“It will hurt, don’t doubt that. But you’ve suffered worse pain, and you know that things do not always go your way.” Mother reminded me, her tone now soothing.

“You’ll be all right.” Father said. “And when you’re better, you’re going to open such a can of whoopass on those fuckers, they’re going to think sun shines out of your… fists.”

I burst into laughter, tearing open long, painful cracks all over my face. “Now I know you two are just a hallucination. Words like that weren’t even invented when you were still alive.”

Father shrugged. “Hallucination or not, you heard our words and believed them. Our work here is done.”

“Give them hell, my little flower.” Mother whispered into my ear, and kissed me on the forehead one more time. I chuckled and smiled as their presences left me alone again.

I wasn’t hoping for death anymore. Dreading seeing Kielo, hell yeah, but not about to slit my throat over it. Especially since I was still all tied up, you know.

Spring was close enough to summer that the night was very short. The sun was not yet up but the sky was turning pale above me when words spoken nearby woke me from the light sleep I had fallen in while my body worked overtime to mend itself. The vampire was talking with someone. A familiar voice.

The chill early morning air had made me shiver, but when I recognized Kielo’s voice, I froze.

“She hasn’t tried anything, just talked and laughed and shit like that.” The vampire was saying when they got close enough for me to make out their words. I squeezed my eyes closed as tight as they went, but even so I could see Kielo walk towards me. The look on her face, the bounce in her curls and breasts, the swing of her hips. The pain of her betrayal returned, and brought along its friend deathwish.

Slip into my shoes for a bit and try being all heroic and shit. Not so easy, is it? I thought so.

“She seems all right.” Kielo said after a long, quiet moment. She was standing so close to me I could feel the heat of her body.

“She looked worse, she must’ve healed some during the night. Alby said she’s got excellent healing powers, so it might take a few days before the sun actually kills her.”

I could feel Kielo shiver at the thought. It wasn’t actually warming my heart, either!

“That’s horrible.” She said quietly after clearing her throat.

“It ain’t a walk in the park… if you’re all right here, I’ll head to the basement. The sun will be up soon.”

“Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ve got a weapon, just in case.”

“Good.”

I was steeling myself to a long day of pretending to be emotionally dead while, judging from the sounds, Kielo produced whatever weapon she had brought with her. The vampire made an approving sound--

--which suddenly turned into a surprised shout, a sound like a baseball bat hitting a melon, and a heavy slump followed by a heavier silence. Not knowing what was happening, my eyes were open and I was straining against my bonds before I knew what I was doing.

The first thing I saw was Kielo with a heavy, and bloody, night stick, breathing heavily and staring at the unconscious vampire on the floor. When she noticed me watching, she tossed the night stick on the bed and pulled out a set of keys from her small bag. I almost cried with joy and relief as she leaned over me to undo the locks in the chains which bound my arms above my head. I pulled them free and reached out for her. She had come back to me!

But. When she saw my shaky, weak hands coming towards her, she stepped away, not looking at me. She didn’t speak as she released my feet and picked up the night stick. With it she poked at me until I realized she wanted me to get off the ‘bed’.

Easier said than done. There was hardly any blood in my feet and hands, and operating the limbs after they’d been burned and stiff for so long was like trying to maneuver a life-size ragdoll. But I managed to more or less roll off the side, and fell onto the hard floor. The impact forced all the air out of my lungs, and by the time I managed to breathe and sit up, Kielo had already dragged and bound the still unconscious vampire to my place.

“What’s going on?” I managed to ask, my throat too dry.

Kielo gave me a quick glance full of… I don’t know. I recognized at least shame, determination, frustration and anger in those dark eyes of hers.

“I’m just evening the score.” She then pulled out a small handgun from her bag –and I had wondered if she could use a tazer!- and before I could even open my mouth, she’d put a bullet into the vampire’s head, exactly between the eyes. I could do nothing but blink at this woman I hadn’t known after all.

The sun climbed just over the horizon somewhere behind me as Kielo flipped open her cellphone and dialled a number. I watched as she lifted it to her ear, and said two words as soon as someone answered.

“She’s dead.”

She glanced in my direction quickly before continuing. “No. I killed her.”

She listened for a while before hanging up and putting her phone away. She never, not once, looked at me as she turned away and made to leave the house. “Get away from here. Leave the country, and never come back. Maybe they’ll leave you alone.”

“Maybe I won’t leave them alone, have you considered that?”

She snorted, not turning to me. “You haven’t paid any attention to the vampires here in years. Why should you care now?” With that, she walked away before my feet could carry me anywhere. She just walked away from me. Not one backward glance, no hesitation in her steps, no longing in the swing of her hips, no regret in her heart.

No doubt in my mind that I hadn’t mattered to her any more than they had paid.

She was right, though. I didn’t give a rat’s ass about the vampires and this ‘plan’ of theirs they had wanted to protect from me. No. They could go and wreak merry hell on Earth for all I cared.

This was all about revenge.

And revenge… it would be mine.

*

I managed to get down and wobble my way to a nearby riverside, where I hid from the rays of the sun. I spent two days there, licking my wounds, before I felt well enough to go back home. Or what was left of it. They’d taken everything they could carry or sell. The rest they had destroyed. If I would have had more energy, I believe I would have gotten angry and gone after them right then and there, and damn the consequences. But when I found dear Buttercup, her neck broken, I lost what little strength I had.

It took me a few more days to gather myself together, to scrounge up treasures I had hidden both in the apartment and out of it. To get my savings out, money they hadn’t known about. To bury Buttercup. I wanted revenge. I wanted it more than I had wanted it since my father was killed. And I knew I would get it. But now was not the time. I was still healing, slowly but surely. There were too many of them for me to take on like this. I needed time to heal and plan. I needed to get away from here for that.

So I took whatever I still had left, and headed for the airport.

All that time, and all the way to the plane itself, I could still smell it. The scent of her sun-kissed skin.

--

The line about colons, of ripping them out and strangling with them, is borrowed from my favourite comic, Poison Elves, by the late Drew Hayes.

Next, it’s part two! Thank you for reading, and if you could leave maybe a small comment telling me what you thought about part one, that would just rock. ^^